Today I have been contemplating change. While I will not say that I am horrible with change, I do have difficulty with it. There was a time in my life when change wouldn't faze me. I was young with a world of possibility in front of me. I was beholden to no one and could do as I please. Making a split second decision was easy, who would it effect besides me?
Ah, how times have changed. In place of youth I now have age, in place of spontaneity I now have a planned out agenda. Most importantly, instead of being beholden to no one, I am now beholden to a family. Change is not easy for me now, I have too much to worry over.
I am now at a crossroads. A job that once fit my needs is quickly becoming a burden that I cannot bear. Yet, finding a new job in this economy is not exactly piece of cake and I am scared of all that it will bring. My mind is addled with "what ifs" and fear of the unknown is just filling my stomach and squeezing my heart.
Life is what you make it, oh so they say but what if I make it a complete mess? Too many doubts linger where the shadows like to play and I'm left a marionette of their machinations.
Those who inhabit this planet are all connected. Something as small as a honeybee disappearing can put the rest of this earth's inhabitants in serious peril.
With all of that seriousness out of the way, how rockin' are these bees? Did you know that Bees when they find a good source of nectar come back to the hive and tell the others how to find it by creating a unique dance and performing it for them?
I'm not sure if they dance to hip hop but hey, one can dream, right?
Journaling has become very difficult for me these past few months. I always seem to have some crisis to advert, some knee to patch up or some bill that needs to be paid. (They're persistent little things, aren't they?) When I can finally sit down, I find my brain just not wanting to engage. It rather sit idle, waiting for sleep to set in.
I tried to break myself out of that mode by making it easy to journal when I did have time. In this I found a new way to unwind by preparing things for eventual journal entries. The added benefit to all of this was time spent with my husband. I would gather all of my supplies and place them on the kids old plastic table sit on the couch and work. He enjoys the fact that I am sitting with him and not whining about what he's watching (sport, blech)and I get to spend time with him and not have to whine about what he's watching (sports, double blech).
I bought a pallet of tube watercolors from Ocean State Job Lot (If you have one in your area, check it out, they have a decent small art section.) They are not the "best" quality but they come in a lovely array of colors and are suitable for working in a journal. I love running two colors together in big drips. Most of the time I do analogous colors as they appeal to me more (more about that can be found here).
I also found myself printing out a lot of my photography. I'm an amateur shutterbug with more pictures on my hard drive than I know what to do with, so why not use them as journal fodder?
I bought a package of 4x6 photo paper from the Dollar Tree. While the paper isn't the actual best quality (obviously, it cost $1) I find that it actually works with what I am doing. I don't do things glossy and perfect, I'm rather messy and matter-of-fact about things. So having pictures that look a little worn around the edges melds in with the rest of the page instead of sticking out like a sore thumb.
The left page by the by was done with Crayola crayons. They're colorful, cheap and you can buy yourself every single color you can imagine (and some that you can't). Everyone and I mean Everyone should have a box handy.
Another way i created backgrounds was with the Portfolio brand water-soluble oil pastels. I would place the color on where I wanted it and then take a finger to smudge it into the page. To avoid the sticky nature of the pastel, I would lightly brush over it with water and then wipe some of it away with a paper towel. Between the finger smudging and paper towel I was able to rid myself of a lot of that problem.
And can I say how much I love the Luminere paints? I bought this blue/green/gold color at Joann's Fabric and fell in love. They give this gorgeous sheen to the pages.
Anyway, that's it for now. Hopefully I will be back to my creative self in no time. ;D
So, I've been busy (my family is visiting for a week) Plus a lot of upheaval at my place of employment. (Someone want to give me a push in the artistic life direction? The damn paycheck is keeping me from realizing that goal.)
While I try to get my artist self back to former fighting glory, I insist, INSIST, that you check out my two friends. Both of them known in my real life. They can actually track me down and stalk me if they want. (A bit scary, I know.)
The first is my art guru mentor, Mr. C. He just opened up his new blog over at
If you want to get to know a working artist who has lived and learned and shares as if his life depended on it, then you need to go read his blog. Say hello! He'll be quite pleased if you did.
The second person on my must read list is my sweet little baby bear, (We shall call her BB for short) She is witty, hilarious and very, VERY sweet. She is the cream in my coffee or is that the coffee in my cinnamon flavored cream? (hahah)
I am enjoying just creating simple colorful backgrounds with water soluble oil pastels and then drawing over them with graphite pencil. I did a glaze of white over their faces to create more definition and I do like the results. Being that I have 18 6x6 canvases coming my way, I might do a series like this.
Another thing that I was pleasantly surprised with was the journal I used for these past few drawings. Usually if I try to gesso a cheap or even an expensive lined journal, I find that the paper buckles and curls. But this journal that I got this past winter from a local dollar store has laid, flat, flat, flat which is FABULOUS (so glad I have another ten journals :P)
I'm retreating a little bit. I'm trying to find center. A number of opportunities have presented themselves to me and I am at a cross roads. In my usual nature of over analyzing everything, I'm hesitant to take a step forward. I have a husband who is supportive and wishes to propel me forward but I hold back. Why is that? Too practical, too critical, too much judging myself under the skin and into the heart.
I've been journaling a bit and pages seem to run into two color schemes. The first being blue and green, the second being blue and purple.
Now the first thing that I realize is that I am right now attracted to analogical color schemes. Which if you know a little about color theory, is a harmonious color association. So am I looking for harmony or am I becoming more harmonious?
The second being that the traditional views on color moods, the following can be said about my choices: