Some days I feel like I can tackle anything. Other days I feel like a fraud. Today is one of those "other" days. I am mentally drained, all the time. My new job is in the administrative part of the medical field and it has taken me and rung me out. Creatively, I've been in the dumps. I realize that somewhat has to do with my lack of communication with Glen, who really was a cheerleader of the highest caliber. I can hear his response now in my ear, taunting me to take a leap of faith and leave it but I can't. We're in the middle of some heavy and uncertain economic times. A job, especially one that pays well and is close to home is a god send. I need to see those positive aspects and then move on with it.
But then, there is the creating and the fact that I haven't been doing much of it lately. I feel a bit lonely. Not in the, "I'm by myself" sort of way. Obviously with children and a husband I am anything but. I'm lonely because creating was a comforting companion. It was a something that calmed me, something that excited me, it was something that fulfilled me in a way that few could understand.
So, I've jump started myself. I decided to support two artist and take some online classes they were offering. (Side note: You know what I hate? I hate it when I read how certain people have never, "taken a class or read a book," to do art. Bull crap. You have to learn somewhere. Whether it be in a more traditional sense or an unorthodox manner, learning from someone else is a process that we go through It does not make us less original or less of an artist.)
I'm not doing everything to the letter. I have my own style and I kind of like it but it's nice to get another point of view that you might incorporate in your own process. Plus, it's nice to have a supportive community in which to share your accomplishments with.
On that note, that other blog? The one I keep saying I'm going to start but done? I think I might start it sometime this week. I'm not expert, that is for sure but I do believe that art is process of sharing so that you can grow beyond what you know. So, maybe I'll write some articles about creativity and techniques that I use and enjoy. The world is a road yet untraveled. Wonders never cease.