Blast From The Past - Sweetest Girl

Sparkly rainbows and gumdrops am I

I started a new journal. Well, started in the usual ways I start things, which means that I have two or three in the process of being finished right now. In an attempt to be a little more autobiographical (I'm never good with "writing" things down in my art journal, which is why I let my imagery speak for me.) So, I decided to make the writing more like a short but cryptic snippets of the thoughts in my head at any given time. I should warn you that sarcasm is a huge part of my internal monologue. Oh wait, you'll figure that out for yourself, real quick. Never-you-mind.

(Other pages in this journal)





1. 07_31_10, 2. 07_30_10, 3. 07_28_10, 4. 07_29_10

I really need to

Work on my blog and my networking. *sighs* I am so not cut out for this.



1. artjournal_07_20_10, 2. 07_18_10, 3. artjournal_07_17_10, 4. 07_05_10, 5. 07_07_10, 6. artjournal_07_10_10, 7. artjournal_07_09_10, 8. Painted papers 4

Serendipitous

Journaling is not about the destination but the journey it took you on to get you there.

K.I.S.S.

So much time has past since I wrote anything of substance in this journal. The words seem to play in my mind, changing places to better suit the image I wish to create but to no avail. The moment I set fingers to motion on the keyboard, the scramble off like children, laughing at my inability to collect them all in one swoop.

This year has been one of change.

Illustration Friday: Satellite

Well, this has been a very long hiatus. I wish I could tell you that all of this time has been spent creating and living the artist life but alas, no. Instead, I will tell you that in the past year I have been seeing my children flourish and become supernovas. If that is not Art, then I don't know what is.

My daughter and I have begun to participate in Illustration Friday and so this is where this lovely being came into existence. I feel extremely rusty but my fingers itched with excitement as I saw her come to life.

Illustration Friday Website

Summer days

It's already August and I feel as though summer is just slipping through my fingertips. I remember a conversion I had with my mother in which she said that once the kids started going through school, it will seem like time is just flying by. I want to freeze time right here. Where my children are young and full of inspiration. Where their world is safe because my husband and I say that it is. I want to see their excitement as they go over the hill of their first roller coaster and cringe when I find out that they want to do it again and again and again. Summer is going by way too quickly and I want the magic clock that makes it stop.

Crack it, crack it good...

I am in love with crackle. It lends such texture to a journal page. I believe my next youtube video will be a how-to on it.

Detailed

Ch-ch-ch-changes...

Today I have been contemplating change. While I will not say that I am horrible with change, I do have difficulty with it. There was a time in my life when change wouldn't faze me. I was young with a world of possibility in front of me. I was beholden to no one and could do as I please. Making a split second decision was easy, who would it effect besides me?





Ah, how times have changed. In place of youth I now have age, in place of spontaneity I now have a planned out agenda. Most importantly, instead of being beholden to no one, I am now beholden to a family. Change is not easy for me now, I have too much to worry over.






I am now at a crossroads. A job that once fit my needs is quickly becoming a burden that I cannot bear. Yet, finding a new job in this economy is not exactly piece of cake and I am scared of all that it will bring. My mind is addled with "what ifs" and fear of the unknown is just filling my stomach and squeezing my heart.

Life is what you make it, oh so they say but what if I make it a complete mess? Too many doubts linger where the shadows like to play and I'm left a marionette of their machinations.

Journaling when you don't have much free time..

Journaling has become very difficult for me these past few months. I always seem to have some crisis to advert, some knee to patch up or some bill that needs to be paid. (They're persistent little things, aren't they?) When I can finally sit down, I find my brain just not wanting to engage. It rather sit idle, waiting for sleep to set in.

I tried to break myself out of that mode by making it easy to journal when I did have time. In this I found a new way to unwind by preparing things for eventual journal entries. The added benefit to all of this was time spent with my husband. I would gather all of my supplies and place them on the kids old plastic table sit on the couch and work. He enjoys the fact that I am sitting with him and not whining about what he's watching (sport, blech)and I get to spend time with him and not have to whine about what he's watching (sports, double blech).





I bought a pallet of tube watercolors from Ocean State Job Lot (If you have one in your area, check it out, they have a decent small art section.) They are not the "best" quality but they come in a lovely array of colors and are suitable for working in a journal. I love running two colors together in big drips. Most of the time I do analogous colors as they appeal to me more (more about that can be found here).




I also found myself printing out a lot of my photography. I'm an amateur shutterbug with more pictures on my hard drive than I know what to do with, so why not use them as journal fodder?

I bought a package of 4x6 photo paper from the Dollar Tree. While the paper isn't the actual best quality (obviously, it cost $1) I find that it actually works with what I am doing. I don't do things glossy and perfect, I'm rather messy and matter-of-fact about things. So having pictures that look a little worn around the edges melds in with the rest of the page instead of sticking out like a sore thumb.

The left page by the by was done with Crayola crayons. They're colorful, cheap and you can buy yourself every single color you can imagine (and some that you can't). Everyone and I mean Everyone should have a box handy.






Another way i created backgrounds was with the Portfolio brand water-soluble oil pastels. I would place the color on where I wanted it and then take a finger to smudge it into the page. To avoid the sticky nature of the pastel, I would lightly brush over it with water and then wipe some of it away with a paper towel. Between the finger smudging and paper towel I was able to rid myself of a lot of that problem.




And can I say how much I love the Luminere paints? I bought this blue/green/gold color at Joann's Fabric and fell in love. They give this gorgeous sheen to the pages.




Anyway, that's it for now. Hopefully I will be back to my creative self in no time. ;D

Questionable

This is what I want.. to catch the whimsical -- that sweetness and elegance in being simple and bright. I want to capture translucent light that filters through gauze and the playful breeze that billows through trees. I want to hear my song sing itself in that way that only I can decode. I want to be female. Strong but soft, bold but subtle. I want to be succulent and warm to the touch. I want to be simple yet complicated, layered like a good plot in a book. I want to be something more, something else and yet be me.

I want to be this. Achieve it to be it is what I say but I hold back and I wait. I need to stop looking for the start gun to go off and just go.

I want my heart song... in gentle defiance of what people think it should be.

Dunce

From people that you work with that don't quite "get" it to 8 children who seem to have lost their way in the path of love and humanity, it seems that Albert Einstein just says it best.





I haven't been doing much lately. My daughter has the stomach flu, I've been sick as well and work is well hectic. I am working on a series of paintings for my daughters room. It will be fun to share those here. I've already begun cutting out butterflies for the first one.

Slump, slump, slump, slump

First because she said she is stalking me. I love you, Candace! Forgive my lame self for not contacting you. I'm an idiot. I am, I'm sorry. :\

I've been in a creative slump lately. This was my last youtube venture.

Cathedrals

Circus Runaway

There are days where I would like to run away with the circus. Funny enough I never wanted to run away with them as a little girl. As an adult... well that seems to be a different story. :)


Detailed:

Ageless

March is almost upon us, which means that my birthday is coming up. 33. It seems like a blink of an eye and I'm past twenties and diving into my thirties. Do I feel different? With the occasional gray hair and perhaps an ache or pain that wasn't there before, no, not really. My mind still races as if I were 19 and in love with the world at times. When I look around, it seems like people think it is wrong to be how I am, that I should, "grow up."

I work, I help support my family, I cook, clean do laundry ... so why can't I dream? Aging is an evil trick of the body that the mind cannot comprehend. It still thinks it has eternity to be.

Dream Friends

This morning I decided to make myself a peppermint stick milkshake. Shhhhh, don't tell my kids.

Inspiration

I got the most wonderful e-mail about a week ago from someone who viewed one of my youtube videos. It's nice to see that people are inspired by what I do and perhaps it encourages them to do it themselves. I cannot express enough how important it is to understand that there are things you do for yourself, not an audience and visual journaling is one of them. Pick up a pencil, pen, crayon, marker and just do something. One drawing leads to another, leads to a collage, leads to acrylic paints, leads to canvas and before you know it, you're wondering how in the world did you not express yourself artistically.

Here is a new journal page with a, "how I did it," youtube video to accompany it. I'm in the process of brainstorming a few other videos with the intention of encouraging others to journal. Well see how that pans out but until then, enjoy and please let me know what you think. I appreciate it all of your comments!

New Pages

Make ART!

Created this in response to Cheekychen's call to arms on youtube. Amazingly enough, with all the artists submitting videos of their artwork, there is no "Art" category on youtube. He's hoping to change that. View the short, short video below.